Show And Tell Time - Willing To Show My Hand.....

[kmall]

Bp- and fellow board members. First of all I would like to acknowledge the privilege that I believe it is to be able to post on this board and by doing so we all have a responsibility to self monitor and edit what we post here. Bp has done a tremendous and somewhat thankless job since my tenure here in not only sifting through and carefully reading and responding to just about all of our thoughts and expressions on Imetechat. I know, a complete run on sentence, but as I had mentioned to Bp yesterday, I'm not the most smartest guy in the room here, but I am passionate about my beliefs. And ones character at the end of the day is tops on my list. So Bp, not to sound like an over the top brown noser, but I'd like to commend you again for all that you have and continue to do here. It is a true service. I do consider you a friend at this point even though we have never met. Thank you.

Now not everyone here is going to get along all the time and not everyone here may even like some of the members of this board, including myself. To any of those in that camp, I totally understand, and if at all possible I'd like to extend an olive branch once again, break bread and consider it water under the bridge. Capice? All members here deserve a voice, but that comes with the notion that you don't yell fire in a crowded movie theater.

This past week, I sincerely hope how I voiced my opinion, and that's all it is - mine - hasn't come across that way. I may have been a little brash to some here, but that's just who I am. Take it or leave it if you will. Forums like this are a little strange. With our monikers and handles we're all anonymous in a sense. You sometimes question if what or who you are reading is telling the truth. The real deal. I can assure all of you here who even give a half a rats patootie that I am one of those real deal guys. I in no way have exaggerated or fabricated who I am or who I pretend to be. I have and am still living a colorful and storied life. I'm not saying it's all been roses, most of it's been a little hard as I've always bucked the system in a sense for lack of a better term. I've partied with rock stars, literally until the sun has come up. Brushed elbows with celebrities and guys with crooked noses most of my life. Including CEO's, a few top tier physicians and highly esteemed business people as well. Still do at times. And I've lived life on the edge of a razors knife. Now some of you may not care, or think that I'm bragging. I'm not. I just want to frame a reference from where I stand and how I tend to view things. Jingle, you have been correct. I'm not an individual that you want to mess with. Although I've softened a great deal as I've aged.

So here's where I'm going with all of this. For me, it's show and tell time. Put up or shut up if you will.

First off, I am more than willing to hand in my Imetechat card at this time if Bp or other members here see fit. I don't think my views this past week warrant that, but I have skirted the fringes of being "civil" here and I do understand if some feel my time has expired. Quite frankly, I'm not so sure I'll be posting as much as I have anyway. My contributions here are limited to a certain extent as I'm not a scientist, physician or clinician. I'm a kid from the street with a big heart and ego to match at times. I've needed both to survive in my world. Especially my past. My life is also one that's about evolution and change. Personally I can fill my time in many ways and as all of us here realize, the hour glass runs fast. That's the first thing. Resignation card in hand.

Second I'm more than willing to reveal who I am to Bp via email. Remember the Pepsi challenge? This is the Kmall challenge if you will. I will forward Bp pertinent information on my background and current status. This includes my current job, my boat - I have a real time tracking device on my vessel, it's called AIS - I never turn it off. In the current role I play, I correspond with many fellow captains. My journey since I've left NYC/CT is being watched in real time by fellow "cruisers" from the Caribbean Islands and all up and down the eastern seaboard. Although my wife handles most of that. This life was her dream and she deserved it for putting up with some pretty rough stuff with me. And I will say this to any of you reading who care to listen. In this life there is no dress rehearsal. You only get one shot. If at all possible go out and live whatever dreams you have while you can. We've been doing this for 3yrs now and are both 53. I can count on at least one hand how many fellow cruisers we've met who waited until "retirement" age to do what we are doing now and didn't get much time at all. We all have an expiration date. You really have to go out and get what you can out of this life what you can and while you can. What I'm doing now is NO JOKE. That sea will humble you in a heartbeat. And running down the eastern seaboard this time of year isn't the wisest idea. We got stuck in CT with unforseen boat projects that as full time live aboards we don't have the luxury or ignoring. The last two weeks we were stuck in the Chesapeake waiting out a "weather window' to go around Cape Hattaras - Graveyard of the Atlantic. Yesterday was our 6th time navigating around her and it's always a nail biter. Things can change very quickly out there miles off shore. We have a 40' Catamaran and our mast is to high for the ICW. GO BIG OR GO HOME.

Ok so Bp. In a few clicks of a mouse.....does anyone use those anymore? I'll give you at least four ways to very quickly verify to everyone here that I am who I am. My illustrious past. My current job status, with pictures of a few of the gigs I was privileged to be a part of for 6 weeks in NYC this past September and October. My vessels name and tracking information and last but not least the name of my best friend who passed away from Blood/bone cancer in 2011. I've previously posted that one for any of you paying attention. He was the most beautiful soul I was honored and blessed by the man upstairs to have known. His service literally packed St. Patrick's Cathedral in NYC - there was even an overflow outside to pay their respects and was headed by the then Mayor of NYC Michael Bloomberg. Flags across NYC and NY State were flown at half mast for a week in his honor.

I, Kmall am "the real deal." And I'm willing to prove it to everyone here and now through our trusted and most valued and respected monitor Bp.

BTW - Bp, if you choose not to I understand. In no way am I making a mockery of this board. Just the opposite. I'd like to lay my cards on your table if you see fit? And I'd also like to apologize for the man to man question I posted to you yesterday if that was in any sense offensive to you. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. In the world I'm from your word is everything. Let's all hope that Dr. Scarlett has at least a toe in that world as well. All the best to you my friend and all fellow colleagues of this board. -Kmall

[bucbeard]

Thank you kmall!

I appreciate the personal background and context, as well as all your contributions.

Onward we all go...together.

[biopearl123]

Kmall, old friend. Here’s the truth. I have always taken you at your word. I have never questioned your bona fides, your sincerity or your commitment to this board. A little volatility in personality makes life interesting. Remember when George Bush filius looked into Putin’s eyes and saw a good person’s soul? Well I did that, even through the television and could have told ol’ George just how wrong he was. I am pretty good at judging people and have never questioned you. Honestly, this board would have one tenth its value if it were not for your contributions and research, especially your colorful “world travels”. Turn in your card? You crazy, man! You may not remember but we actually did correspond privately several years ago when you shared the deep loss of your friend as well as some of your background. No security checks are required from me, I have looked into your eyes and you are the real deal. I grew up with my big Irish friend Gerry. He was Catholic, I am Jewish. He was big, I was and am still skinny. He played sports I went to the library. It was a very blue collar town and rough. I was the only guy in my class to go to a small liberal arts college out of state. Gerry was my bodyguard and saved my Jewish butt from some tough situations just as my other best friend, the kind but strong Richie as well as my Italian buddy Steve. They never wavered and they always had my back. Gerry drank himself to death and the loss was great. Then I lost my my Mom and two wonderful sisters to cancer. I always hated what I perceived as the callous way doctors seemed when they had to bring bad news to patients and I knew I could do better. But it did take a piece of me and it took a while to learn to establish boundaries if only for the preservation of my own soul. Sailing helped. I had a Crealock 34 many years ago, which I kept in Scituate harbor and sailed up and down the New England coast but gave it up when the kids were little. So I know a little about the peace and solitude of the seas. I of course also know how easy it is to have your boat and bones turned into toothpicks by angry weather and bad navigation. I hope our navigation though the seas of Geron has been precise and the weather turns fair. Gently seas and fair winds to you. No self recriminations necessary. Those recriminations could be coming from me in a couple of weeks so everyone please be careful and sensible in your investment choices. I have to remind the board, don’t be a lemming and make your own choices and take responsibility for the outcome. As David Bromberg said, man should never gamble more than he can stand to lose. bp

[bucbeard]

right on BP. thank you for ALL that YOU do.

[biopearl123]

Thanks Buc!

[kmall]

Bp- Thank You. My offer will always be there for you, and thank you for sharing your story. My condolences for your losses. As we trudge onward through this life, inevitably that's the case. This past February I as well lost my only brother who I was extremely close with. I'm a military brat - Dad was an Air Force pilot in Vietnam. Traversing the globe - Philippines and England - and this country, he was always by my side. 49 is way too young and as Hunt stated earlier it's left a gigantic crater in my now very small immediate family. He was tough as nails and beyond talented as a carpenter/roofer. He really enjoyed torches and laying down giant rolls of rubber. He wasn't a roofer you find in the yellow pages. He was a true artisan/perfectionist working on mainly commercial projects and homes for extremely wealthy individuals on Long Island. Word of mouth was how he was employed. He's one of the reasons I'm doing what I do now - "set design" mainly, but I kind of do it all. He worked for the company I worked for for 3 days. It was to "easy" for him. He had his own business and went there to check it out on the off season. When I showed up to work my boss was estatic, like over the top. I had to quickly inform him that although I could keep up with my brother, I wasn't him. Know ones limitations. Needless to say, most of the crew I work with are half my age and I run circles around them when I show up. My brother suffered horribly the past two years. Such is life. We are fortunate to have what we have while it's here. Because inevitably it will go.

It sounds like you and I could have been close friends in the real world out here. Irish/Italian raised Catholic. I find religion in ones soul and the world we're in these days. Leave it at that. I do however, have a very close "cruiser" friend who is Israeli. He's a good 15yrs my senior and I'm fairly certain ex-Mossad. He's holed up in the Bahamas right now as his wife has been back and forth to Israel more times than I can count these past 2-3yrs when we first met for her ailing parents there. Anyway, he knows an awful lot about weaponry and military strategy for an "ex-insurance" healthcare professional from Minnesota. My wife made a very clever observation that his FB page/site contains no pictures of him. It's funny because this past June we spent 4-5 days with him in Spanish Wells and were having lunch one day at a restaurant overlooking this spectacular point which had one of those posts with signs attached: Miami - 140mi / Nassau - 58mi / Havana 92mi.... like you see in that TV show MASH.... remember that one? My wife suggested us all taking a picture together and I knew she was doing it to see how he would react. Although the two of them are very close so she definitely wanted a picture with him. She's Italian - like from Italy - speaks 3 languages and I have no idea how she ended up with a knucklehead like me. Poor thing. Anyway he got very squirrelly at that suggestion and was somewhat reluctant...."no just let me take one of you two".....it went back and forth until we got a waitress over and he finally relented. It's in her phone. Never posted it, but hilarious to watch it all play out.

One more quick anecdote on your bedside manner point. So my friend who passed was going through Chemo at MSKCC in NYC and his main physician was Dr. David D'Adamo at the time. Very prestigious individual. Had his name plastered up and down the halls. Met him on several occasions. Anyway, I wasn't there this particular day, but my friends Aunt was, who was a very well to do attorney - President of the BBB - Ex-Director of the NY Bar Association - her husband, my friends uncle by blood was the Head lawyer for the Lowe's Corporation - Tish Family in NYC. So when she shared this with me I knew it was true, and no knock on the good Dr. D'Adamo. He just tells it like it is. They had discovered a tumor on Matt's vena cava and were scheduling/preparing him for a 14 or so hour surgery to follow. Matt had an incredible sense of humor given any circumstance. He turned to D'Adamo at one point and said "I just want to get my AARP card"......D'Adamo without hesitation replied "you won't be seeing your AARP card." Barbara was completely floored. And although couldn't say anything then was utterly heartbroken. It was some pretty rough manner. But it did let Matt know his time was coming to an end, so it gave him time to button up a few things as far as family was concerned.

On the flip side, while going to college - I actually gave that a shot for a few years, I tended bar and waited tables out on Fire Island in Ocean Bay Park and Ocean Beach during the summer. While working at McQuires in Ocean Beach back in 1991 I was waiting tables. Dr. Fred Epstein would frequently stop in with his family and take a big 8-12 top table. He was probably the most innovative Brain Surgeon ever. Pediatric brain surgery is what he specialized in. Talk about a larger than life-ray of sunshine individual. Everyone wanted to spend even a minute with Dr. Epstein. He had this energy that was hard to even describe. But down to earth as anyone could be. Treated us all like we were on the same plain. I even heard a story of him doing brain surgery on a CEO's dog.....he wasn't a vet, as long as the CEO dontated $1M to an organization which gave the opportunity to bring children from around the world to him for free treatment. He did an enormous amount of charity work. Just a special special soul. So there are always two sides to the coin so to speak. I'm glad that you decided on the shinny one! And with that L'Chaim my friend!! -Kmall